My Head was pounding, but my Heart was Whole

There are days when I am so broken from the emotional balance of parenting.

Being both patient and enforcing consequences takes its toll. That toll is even higher when you have a child who has Anxiety with extra emotional meltdowns to follow.

There are many days when I just wish it would be easier for him. I wish it would be easier for me. Finding that balance is not for the faint of heart. It takes time and a lot of trial and error along the way.

But yesterday afternoon I was shown just how effective my patience, love, and caretaking is for my sons; especially my 7 year old.

I had an awful headache yesterday as a result of my head cold/virus that I’ve had for the past week. I fell asleep on the couch watching a movie with my boys. My 7 year old was home from school because he caught the virus and a few infections that ran through the entire house. Thankfully he’s on the mend.

When I woke up from my nap my head was pounding. I mentioned it to my 7 year old and he immediately rubbed my head. 5 minutes later I saw him getting ice from the ice machine. I thought he was getting himself some water because he likes ice with his water.

One minute later he handed me a ziplock bag with ice and then a cup filled with water. My eyes welled with proud tears. My son became my caretaker. For the next 2 hours he played with his 2 year old brother, cleaned the family room while enlisting his 2 year old brother’s help, and made sure they were both using their inside voices.

His good behavior and choices carried on throughout the rest of the day; and my husband and I made sure that he knew how proud we are.

He didn’t argue with me when it was time to take his medicine (which he usually does).

He didn’t fuss about his time being up on his electronics.

He did things like take a shower, put on his pajamas, and clean up his messes without my instructions to do so.

Yesterday was ideal. His empathy came through. It conquered the tough stuff that his brain often focuses on too much.

I know it won’t always be like this, but I was just so damn proud of him. I’m proud that he was happy with himself. I was proud that he was able to focus on the good. He often thrives when it comes to making others happy, especially me.

His heart is so pure and filled with so much love. I hope he finds more and more power in those qualities everyday.

My head was pounding, but my heart was whole.