I’ve read article after article about how women in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s feel like they don’t belong in a group of friends.
I’m here to tell you, you’re right.
You don’t belong in a group of friends. You belong in YOUR group of friends.
Throughout my life, I have always had a large amount of friends from different groups. Each friend and each group served a purpose. They still serve a purpose. That purpose is a reciprocal understanding of love, acceptance, being there for each other when times are difficult, and being able to have fun together.
I didn’t fight to keep friendships that weren’t serving me as a person. I simply dropped those “friends.” If we weren’t serving each other’s souls, then I didn’t have time to waste on them.
On the contrary, my circle is always open. I will chat it up at the park with moms. I will compliment someone in line at the grocery store on their hair. I will tell a random mom that they’re doing a good job!
All of those can lead to friendship. Believe it or not, most of my friendships that I’ve made more recently have formed from my older son’s schools.
He is now 7, and we still spend time with his friends and their parents from preschool.
I’ve also made several friends through volunteering. I’m one of 3 chairpersons for the Kid’s events in our neighborhood, as well as the fundraising representative for the PTA at my older son’s school. I get involved and that allows others to feel comfortable talking to me and coming to me.
Eventually that had lead to amazing friendships.
Also, most of my close friends also have children. That makes a big difference for many reasons. The main reason is because they know that our time is limited.
They know that when we do get a day to hang out, we try to make the most of it.
They also know that if we can all bring our kids together to play, while we all hang, it’s even better! It’s hard for moms to get time away from their kids, so the best mom friends are those that have kids that play with your kids too. I call that a win-win.
Anyway, in order to find your people, you have to be reciprocal in your friendships.
Try to return the text.
Try to schedule play dates.
Try to schedule girl’s nights.
Try to be the friend you want to have, and that will help you attract the same.
Oh, and keep your circle open. You never know who’s waiting for your friendship.