We Waited Five Years to Have our Second Baby, Because our First was so Strong-Willed

When I was younger, and dreamed of being a wife and mother; I always wanted a big family. I wanted a minimum of five kids. After all, my mother is the youngest of ten children.

Years passed and I met my husband. He wanted however many kids that I wanted. After several years of teaching pre-Kindergarten and Kindergarten, I decided that three kids would be ideal… and more than enough to handle.

In August 2013 my husband and I learned that we were expecting! We were both ecstatic. In November 2013 we bought our own home, and prepared it for our first baby boy. In February 2014 I learned that I had a pregnancy condition called Cholestasis. It’s a rare pregnancy condition where bile salts leak into your placenta and could cause a stillbirth. I was monitored bi-weekly and I was induced 3 weeks early to insure my son’s safety.

My first beautiful boy was born in March 2014. Although I had been around children my entire life, it was completely different than having one of my own. It was a learning curve for my husband and I. He didn’t want to overstep, and I didn’t know what to tell him I needed. To say that it put a strain on our perfect marriage, is putting it lightly. We all struggled to find our new normal. It took time and patience.

Brian Jr on the day he was born. March 2014.

It took us both several years to even think about trying for another baby. I went from wanting five babies to wanting one and done. Our son is and was extremely strong-willed. When he wants something he doesn’t give up. That will serve him well in his future career, but as his parent, it’s exhausting. He has this infectious personality that draws everyone near. However, he also knows how to wear my husband and I down.

For mine and my husband’s mental health and relationship, we waited a little longer in between for our second baby. We know now that our family is complete; and we’re happy with our two handsome and healthy boys. Would I have had our second sooner now knowing what I know? Definitely not. I love their age gap. It gives me sanity, and it works for our family.

Our now six year old’s personality (which we love) brightens our souls; but at the time his persistent toddler attitude was draining us. Once my son entered preschool and was able to get out more energy with friends, as well as having additional authoritative figures in his life; it was easier for us to picture having another little human in our lives. We wanted to give him a sibling to love and to play with. We just knew it was finally time.

Two days before my older son’s 5th birthday, he received the biggest birthday gift ever… his baby brother. This time it wasn’t new to me or my husband. This time we both knew exactly what needed to be done. Also, this time we had an extra helper, our older son. He is an amazing big brother and has shown us how much he loves his little brother.

My boys and I

While, my six year old’s perseverance to keep us on our toes continues to be challenging; he has also proven to be an empathetic and caring big brother. We have discussed his role as big brother often. He always says (in reference to our one year old) “I know, I know… I will always protect him.” My one year old is one hundred percent smitten with his big brother. I’m so thankful that we decided to wait a little longer in between children. For us, it was the perfect age gap. Our family is now complete.


Published by mommydignen

Hey "Youse Guys!" I'm a mom of two handsome, smart, and lazy boys. I'm originally from South Philly, PA; but currently reside in Wilmington, DE. I enjoy drinking coffee, scrolling Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and living my best life in my yoga pants. Although I have a Master's Degree in education, I chose to stay home while my kids are little. Crafting is also my jam... thus, Pinterest being one of my main scrolling sites. Writing has always been a solid outlet for me. Need to yell at a boyfriend who broke your heart? Yell at him through the written WORD. Need to mourn a loved one? Get your feelings on a laptop and type away some of the grief. Need to laugh or cry about the ups and downs of motherhood? WRITE IT DOWN!

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