I’m a Stay at Home Mom, and I Did Not Sign up for This

My typical weekday as a Stay at Home Mom starts like this: I wake up with the baby, change him, and then feed him. I feed the dog, let her out, and give her medicine. Then I start to get breakfast ready for both boys and myself. The coffee pot brews, I make my older son lunch to bring to school, get dressed, and bring down clothes for my son to get dressed. Then we all get in the car (minus the dog) and I drop off my oldest to school.

When I get home, I drink my coffee, get my baby ready for his morning nap, and take a breather. Of course there are dishes, laundry, and the usual. However, I also have my village. My neighbors (a mother and daughter with tons of experience in childcare) often take my baby for a couple of hours so I can get some crafting or cleaning done in peace.

I miss my village. My parents would come visit on the weekends and break up the monotony of the week. On days my older son is home from school for a break or holiday, we would meet up with friends and go to the park or museums. We weren’t trapped in our homes or having to stay more than six feet apart from our friends and family.

This Social Distancing (which I am 100% for during this Coronavirus pandemic) is NOT what I signed up for! I didn’t sign up to be my 6 year old’s academic teacher (even though I’m a former teacher), while caring for his baby brother, and keeping the house in order. I didn’t sign up to not be able to take my kids to museums, stores, playgrounds, and/or restaurants. I didn’t sign up to not be able to physically see my parents, sister, nephews, aunts, cousins, friends, etc.

Yes, I’ve been home with both of my kids for extended periods of time during the Summer and Holidays. However, we usually socialize during those times. We have a pool membership during the Summer. We have Zoo and Science museum memberships. Therefore, this is all brand new territory. This is the first time I’ve been quarantined and expected to still make the most of it. I still am trying to make the most of it. I swear. I’m also trying to wrap my head around the situation; and I’m constantly monitoring my Anxiety. Also, I should add that I’m an extrovert. So, not being able to truly socialize, triggers my Anxiety even more so.

There are NO real breaks for me right now. My husband works from home at the moment and basically locks himself in the office until dinner time. He works for a food servicing company. Right now they have to adjust all of their orders and it’s been a nightmare. So, we see him usually around dinner time. This leaves me to hold down the fort the majority of the day. It’s exhausting. I LOVE my kids more than anything. I’m just exhausted. My husband is exhausted. We’re both used to the outside help that gets us through the day to day.

None of this is to say that I’m not thankful for what we do have, because I truly am. I’m thankful that my husband has a job that allows him to work from home. I’m thankful that we have a home, we have food, we have TOILET PAPER, and so many other necessities that others may not be privy to at the moment (or at all).

I’m truly just saying that it’s okay not to be okay. Its okay whether you’re a Stay at Home mom, Work from Home mom, or Work out of the Home mom. Bottom line, is that none of us signed up for this. We’re all struggling in one way or another. So, let’s lift each other up. Be each other’s light. We need to create a new kind of village for now. We are in this together.